Baby It's Cold Outside
by maidenpride
Summary: Inspired by Ella Fitzgerald's Christmas song. Not sure how many chapters there will be. Please read and enjoy.
1. Snow Cards

Inspired by the song "Baby It's Cold Outside"—Ella Fitzgerald

Knock, Knock

Harm turns down the stereo and walks towards the front door, looking in the peephole only to see a woman knowingly smiling at him through the glass hole. Harm opens the door and steps aside so she can glide ever so gracefully into the room—brightening it with her very presence. She turns on her heel and smiles asking

"I haven't interrupted anything have I."

"No, I was just sautéing some dried tomatoes in olive oil for my chicken pasta. Would you like to join me?"

She saunters towards the sizzling pan taking in the wonderful aroma that was wafting around the kitchen.

"There's plenty there…"

"Sure I'd love to Harm, it smells wonderful. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well, you can get the pasta out and start boiling the water, while I finish the sauce."

Harm goes to the fridge to get the thawed chicken, slicing it, and tossing it in with the tomatoes. As he turns to get another pan for the sauce they bump into each other "Sorry they both say simultaneously, giggling to hide the attraction they both felt towards one another. Several minutes go by when the water begins to boil and the noodles are tossed in. As Harm stirs the sauce to keep it from burning to the pan, she walks towards the table carrying plates and utensils. As she comes back for napkins and glasses they bump into each other again replaying the awkwardness of the first collision.

"All right, the sauce looks ready to go! Let's eat!"

They both sit down at the small glass table. A gentleman as always, Harm reaches for her plate and fills it with a nice healthy portion of pasta grinning widely as he set it down before her.

"Oh my…this tastes exquisite Harm! I want the recipe!"

"Why so you can burn it?"

"I don't burn food…well not everything that is."

"Oh that's right the microwave burns it for you!"  
"Hey!"

"I'll cook this whenever you come over rather than barring witness to the destruction of this culinary masterpiece."

"Deal, but don't get to arrogant there flyboy…'culinary masterpiece'?"

The evening continued on in quiet companionship. The silent conversation waned on till the last bite

"That was delicious Harm. Thank you very much"

"No trouble at all. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Harm got up from the table grabbing the dishes when she jumped up from the table taking the dishes back.

"I'll get it Harm, you cooked I can clean up."

She stated sauntering back to the sink the rinse of the dishes.

"What do you want me to do with the leftovers?"

"Put them into a Tupperware container, you can take them home with you. Just leave it in the fridge for now."

Harm said heading back to the stereo turning it up and walking towards the window.

"It's really snowing hard out there. You should wait a little bit to see if the storm lets up a bit."

She turned to him and smiled as she finished up the dishes.

"All done." She said drying her hands and closing the dishwasher starting it, leaving a dull hum in the room, barely noticeable between the music and the romantic gazes "unknowingly" being cast across the room.

She walked towards Harm, still standing at the window.

"It really is snowing hard out there."

"Guess this means you've gotta stay."

"Just for awhile but then I really ought to get going."

"Say what brought you to this part of town? Not that you really need a reason, just curious."  
"Oh thanks for reminding me. I came to drop this off."

She said reaching into her purse pulling out an envelope.

"You left work before I had a chance to give this to you. It was accidentally put in my mailbox. I think it's a Christmas card from your mom."

"Thanks." Harm said grabbing the envelope.

"Why would she be mailing it to work Harm?"

"Just easier that way, she's never sure when I'm going to be home and would rather it go to work."

"Ah…"

"This isn't addressed to me though, it's for you."

"Huh, the envelope had your name on it."

"And yours."  
He pointed the c/o below his name.

"I guess I didn't notice it, I just saw your name and Trish's. But why would she send me anything?"

"Open it and find out."

Harm hands her the card back and she slices open the top with her fingernail tugging gently at the card sliding it out of the envelope.


	2. Please Stay

"Oh how darling" she said admiring the winter scape painted on the card. She flipped it open and read the lovely written scrawlings inside…

Dearest Sarah—

My sincerest congratulations for surviving another year with my son—8 years can you believe that? I know that we've never met in person (why is that by the way?), but I feel as though I've known you for 8 years as well the way Harmon talks about you. I plan on flying out there on business for a few days mid-January and would love a chance to get together with you for dinner. Merry Christmas Sarah, please take care of yourself (and my son he really does care a great deal about you).

With Love—

Trish

Mac was almost in tears, the kind words of strangers seem to have that affect—although you know in your head and heart certain things unless it is spoken outside of your head it remains a possible figment of one's imagination. She stood in silence for a few moments before Harm finally asked what the card had said.

Joltingly she replied "Need to know."

"That bad, geez…"

"Not bad, lovely."

"Ah…well…mmm." Harm sighed and mumbled walking back towards the stereo turning up the volume—suggestively changing the mood of the room.

Mac put the card back into the envelope after having re-read it and placed it into her purse then sat comfortably on to the couch kicking her boots off.

"Make yourself at home there Mac." Harm said laughingly but grateful to see her so relaxed and at ease. Walking back into the kitchen getting wine glasses, filling them with grape juice. He looked up into the window and noticed the thick white snow falling rapidly but ever so gracefully—snow always seemed to remind him of Mac strong and graceful at the same time.

"Mac, it is starting to get really nasty out there. I don't know if you will be able to make it home or not in this weather." He said walking back to her with the drinks. He plopped down onto the couch bumping into Mac causing her to almost spill grape juice all over her blouse.

"I'm sorry" He said trying not to laugh to hard.

"You clumsy old man!" She cried out slapping him on the shoulder with her free hand.

"Hey watch it, who you calling old! You're no spring chicken yourself!"

She went quiet, it hit too close to home and he realized it after he said it. She knew she was aging—her eggs were probably aging twice as fast as she was. Still single, without children and seemingly utterly alone—except for Harm but that loneliness was worse than anything a person could imagine. She sat there knowingly in love with the man beside her and trying to maintain an air of decorum—just friends, companions, partners, fellow military officers. It had become a mantra for her.

"I'm sorry Mac I didn't mean it like that." Harm said genuinely concerned about having hurt her feelings. The sound of his voice pulled her out of her wandering thoughts.

"Wha…don't worry about it Harm I know you would never intentionally try and hurt my feelings. Age is just a sensitive topic lately that's all." She said still distracted. Harm could tell that she wasn't really there with him.

"Mac, what's on your mind you look as though you're staring off into space, not enjoying my company." He said trying to lighten the mood and get her to laugh.

"Oh, sorry million different thoughts nothing in particular. And I almost always enjoy your company except when you try and spill juice on me." She said half jokingly.

"Alright if you insist."

There was a slightly awkward silence between them for a few moments. Mac turned away, gazing out the window.

First to break the silence "I think I ought to get going soon otherwise I may get stuck on the way home."

Harm didn't respond right away, unsure on how to answer her and unsure to whether or not he was the really cause for wanting to leave so early. Before he had a chance to say anything a jazz melody started wafting from the speakers. Getting a crazy idea he got up from the couch and grabbed both his and Mac's glasses, placed them on the table and took her hand. She looked up at him confused and found a wide grin staring back at her. He pulled her up from the sofa and guided her towards the dining area.

"Would you care to dance with me Mac….Sarah?"

"Uh…sure…"

He placed his hands gently around her waist, resting on the small of her back being careful not to drift too low. She wrapped her arms around his neck taking in the intoxicating smell of his cologne. The lyrics came in, they seemed to swirl around them pulling them together and yet pulling them apart at the same time.

"Do you really need to go?"

I really can't stay…

(But baby it's cold outside…)

I've got to go away…

(But baby it's cold outside…)

She didn't really need to answer Harm's question, the song pretty much said all that needed to be said. The weather was bad that's why she needed to go…yes that was the reason…

"I've had a lovely time Harm."

This evening has been…

(Been hoping that you'd drop in…)

So very nice…

(I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice…)

My mother will start to worry …

(Beautiful what's your hurry…)

"Do you have any idea just how beautiful you are Sarah?" Gazing into her eyes intently trying to get lost in the deep golden brown eyes. Mac started to blush unsure on how to answer him, she knew she was pretty and in good shape but to hear him say she was beautiful was something unexpected…

And Father will be pacing the floor…

(Listen to the fireplace roar…)

So really I'd better scurry…

(Beautiful please don't hurry…)

Well maybe just a half a drink more…

(Put some records on while I pour…)

Harm drew her in closer laying a small kiss on her left temple. He removed one hand from her back to brush aside a piece of hair that fell into her face—revealing shy eyes and pinkened cheeks.

The neighbours might think…

(But baby it's bad out there…)

Say what's in this drink?

Mac began to wonder if that was really grape juice in that wine glass, he was acting so strangely—she was enjoying it, too much and in danger of losing grip of her emotions.

(No cabs to be had out there…)

I wish I knew how…

(Your eyes are like starlight now…)

Harm kept his eyes focused entirely into her eyes, keeping her to himself.

To break the spell…

(I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell…)

I ought to say no no no sir…

(Mind if I move in closer?)

Harm started to mouth the male voice in the song while caressing her back with his thumbs.

At least I'm gonna say that I tried…

(What's the sense of hurting my pride?)

Mac was beginning to lose the battle waged with herself. She moved her head onto his shoulder for just a moment, feeling his heart beat beneath her.

I really can't stay…

(Oh baby don't hold out…)

AH BUT IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!

I simply must go…

(But baby it's cold outside…)

The answer is no…

(But baby it's cold outside…)

She pulled her head away and started pulling away from him on every level—frightened and afraid to just take that leap, the leap of faith.

The welcome has been…

(How lucky that you dropped in…)

So nice and warm…

(Look out that window at that storm!)

My sister will be suspicious…

(God your lips look delicious!)

Harm moved his eyes down from her eyes to her lips, so full, so inviting…

My brother will be there at the door…

(Waves upon a tropical shore…)

My maiden aunt's mind is vicious…

Harm decided to take that leap for Mac and bridge the gap between them—on all levels. He leaned in and placed a gentle, light kiss on her lips—as soft as a feather.

(God your lips are delicious… )

Harm said aloud.

Well maybe just a cigarette more…

(Never such a blizzard before…)

Mac looked back at him saying

I got to get home…

(But baby you'd freeze out there…)

Say lend me a comb…

(It's up to your knees out there…)

You've really been grand…

(I thrill when you touch my hand…)

But don't you see?

Mac couldn't understand what was going on, why couldn't he see he was breaking her heart right now—shattering it into a million pieces.

(How can you do this thing to me?)

There's bound to be talk tomorrow…

(Think of my life-long sorrow…)

At least there will be plenty implied…

(If you caught pneumonia and died…)

I really can't stay…

Mac said letting her hands go and slide from the back of his neck. She turned away quickly hoping Harm would let go of her waist. She need to get her purse and keys…she needed to get to her car where it would be "safe" to cry.

(Get over that old out…)

AH BUT IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!

(Where you could be going when the wind is blowing and it's cold outside?)

BABY IT'S COLD, COLD OUTSIDE!

It was too late the tears had begun to well up, he only partially freed her from his grasp. His right hand moved from the small of her back to her shoulder. He desperately searched for some sign to make sense of what had just happened. He knew Mac was going to run, he could sense it. She hurried towards the bar counter to grab her things, as she turned she bumped into him not realizing he had followed her. She desperately tried to keep her eyes diverted not wanting him to see her cry—not wanting him to see her weak and vulnerable.

Harm lifted her chin, trying to get her to look at him. When she finally let her eyes drift towards his for a moment he noticed the watery glaze filling her eyes.

"What's wrong Mac? Talk to me."

"I really can't stay…I need to get home…I'm sorry."

She put her purse under her arm grabbed the keys and started to make a bee-line to the door. Harm reached out his arm and took a hold of her arm spinning her around causing her purse and keys to fall to the floor. She tried to bend down and pick them up only to have Harm pull her back up to him.

"Please…stay awhile?"

"I can't you don't understand Harm…you can't understand…Please just let me go…"


	3. Painted Tears

By now the tears had begun to well up and push themselves to the brink of her eyes, as she turned around to push him off of her a silent tear fell slowly painting the side of her face with the sadness and love of their relationship. She felt the tear being released. She felt it glide purposefully down her cheek into the corner of her lip. Harm's eyes were focused intently on her arms as she tried to pull free, not seeing the tear drop. It wasn't until another one fell from her eyelashes, following the path carved by the previous but dropping off her face on to his wrist rather than into her lips, that he noticed she had begun to cry. His eyes were like intense balls of fire both desiring and inquiring at the same time—loving and wanting, to both understand and to feel. Harm loosened his grasp on her forearms and felt her slide away from him. He couldn't keep her here against her will. He decided to try a different approach, rather than physically "restraining" her he took his hand and lightly brushed away the newest tear that had formed with his finger. He tucked his index finger under her jaw as his thumb followed the path so many tears had taken to stain her face. Her gaze was drawn from the floor up to his hand then his eyes which were focused on the fine details of her face, then back to his hand. She had wanted to lean into his hand with every ounce of herself but couldn't muster the strength to let go…to make that leap of faith and know that he would be there to catch her should she fall.

Some people just could not understand what it feels like to be so afraid. She has given her heart to so many only to have it destroyed on countless occasions—she had begun to think (and worse feel) as though there was no way someone could love her without hurting her or vice-versa. She felt like the bubonic plague those she let near died suddenly or suffered agony for weeks before dying. She wanted so much to be loved, to be treasured…to be appreciated but they idea of being "let down" yet again was keeping her from leaning into the man before her.

He stared at her trying to find the right words, wanting so desperately to convey his emotions but terrified of fumbling over himself and losing his possibly last shot. He knew if he didn't say something soon that she would walk out of that door and jump to conclusions about what had just happened. He knew her well and she him, but neither knew one another enough to realize that they both had the same fears and the same desires. All he could muster at the moment was a smile, a small loving smile with which he hoped would bide him some time to think of something, something that may save them both from the agony of themselves.

They both knew that they were their own worst enemies, hazards to themselves. Neither one speaking yet both hoping they were getting the emotional subliminal message they were screaming at the top of their lungs—a message than seemed to bypass the vocal cords once again leaving them speechless. Mac began to slowly back away realizing he wasn't going to say anything, and realizing that there was very little he could say that would keep her from "running". As a marine she typically faces problems straight up, that is what she is trained to do, but yet as Sarah—as the woman with a fragmented heart the only useable training is self-preservation—survival. If she could just survive this night, if she could only make it to the door, to her car, to her apartment she would be able to "regenerate" herself.

She bent back down to pick her things up from the floor, only to be greeted by Harm kneeling on the floor to pick up her lipstick and other scattered things from her purse. He gave her a thoughtful smile, once again hoping to bide time. His brain screamed at him to think of something and to think of something fast. She took the things from his hand and placed them into her purse. As their hands grazed over one another they paused, glanced at each other trying to convey similar messages—S.O.S. that went unanswered. She stood up and he followed. She turned and headed out the door, giving a small glance over her shoulder with one foot out the door Harm stepped forward and yelled "Mac…Sarah…


End file.
